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Welcome ♥


Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
...So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I'm a Fake♀ ♂

.Small, simple, safe price.
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets.
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals.
And I am not afraid to die;
I'm not afraid to bleed and fuck and fight,
I want the pain of payment.
What's left, but a section of pygmy sized cuts.
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid.
To fill and spill over and under my thoughts.
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter.
I'm cutting trying to picture your black, broken heart.
Love is not like anything,
Especially a fucking knife!

Look at me.
You can tell,
By the way I move and do my hair,
Do you think that it's me?
Or it's not me?
I don't even care.
I'm alive, i don't smell
I'm the cleanest I have ever been.

I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry.
Dry.
Just look at me, look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.
Just look at me, look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.

Do I drink?
Do I date?
I've got perfect placements.
all my ink
Satisfied, in your eyes.
I'm the biggest fan I've got right now.
I made sure that I look how I wanted to look.
The people around me,
The people surround me.

I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry.
Dry.
Just look at me, look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.
Just look at me, look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.

Just look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake.
Just look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake.

My stomach hurts now,
And all tied off in lace.
I pray, beg for anything to hit me in the face.
And this sickness isn't me.
And I pray to fall from grace.
The last thing I see is feeling.

And I'm telling you I'm a fake,
I'm telling you I'm a fake.
I'm telling you I'm a fake.
I'm telling you I'm a fake.
I'm telling you I'm...

Just look at me, look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.
Just look at me, look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.

Just look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake.
Just look at me now.
I'm a fake, I'm a fake.

Fake!
Fake!
Fake!
Genuine fake!!!

I genuinely like this song a lot. Simply because no matter how much you would like to deny it, everyone can relate to it on some level. Whether you have experienced a sense of loss, or if you used to cut or you’re a manic depressive or really had anything that happened at some point in your life that affected you in a negative way, this is a song you can probably relate to. However I’d like to clarify that people can interpret this song in any way they would like to, without any regard to what I think, but here's a link to I'm a Fake - if you would like to listen to it.

So here’s a brief history about the band and Bert McCracken. Bert is the lead singer and songwriter of The Used, was born in Provo, but raised in Orem, Utah. He was brought up in a straight edged Mormon society, and was even involved in editing a magazine called “Drugs Suck”. However, along with many teenagers, adolescence hit him and his parents hard, and they conflicted in a myriad of aspects; including their chosen religion- Mormonism. Bert decided to rebel by going to other churches, and experimenting with drugs, until he was kicked out of his home at the age of sixteen. From then on until the age of nineteen, he struggled with homelessness and drug abuse. However, his big break happened when he auditioned to join a band – then called Dumb Luck- the band members were astonished by his talents and welcomed him immediately, this was also when they decided to rename themselves “The Used”.

In Berts thoughts, this song was about his own alcohol addiction, his own struggle. He has been battling with his dependence for years, and consistently mentioning them indirectly in his lyrics. However, as I said previously, people can determine the meaning of any song in whichever way they would like; it’s really up to you how you let the song speak to you. I guess that’s what makes them so amazing, they don’t even need an insane solo to make their songs sound completely bad ass! - But I’m a bit biased on this aspect, I love The Used. You may hate this song, despise it even, for being too out there, too emotional perhaps, and that’s fine, for we do live in a world where we can agree to disagree –at least I hope we do!

Anyway, this song speaks to me because I believe that everyone feels a little lonely, lost, broken, and fake at times- I know I have. Have you ever felt that your whole world is spiraling downwards, crashing, exploding, and your thoughts; your feelings are clashing and conflicting with everyone else’s? Have you ever felt so alone that sometimes, you start to think that maybe you deserve to be alone, maybe you did something so wrong that you’re deserving of this pain, of this agony that you’re living in. Sometimes, we allow ourselves to drift off into an alternate universe - if I may call it that- in this universe; we are happy, thriving and full of joy. We are able to achieve this effect through a plethora of mediums, whether it is through song, dance, art, literature, sports – either way you create your own world in your mind, and you are always the moderator of your own thoughts. The thing about being able to think, is that our thoughts are private, we live in our own little microcosmic world which shape shifts into a glorious galaxy while we sleep, or even when we let our imaginations take hold while we are conscious. In our galaxies, we are able to make anything possible, we don’t have to pretend anymore, we are as real as we can be, and nothing is impossible. I guess what I am trying to say is that when life gets hard all we can do is try to deal with it, and escape it in our own ways. Sometimes putting on a face, playing pretend and being fake is the only way of dealing; even if we hate ourselves afterwards.

This song speaks to me. Does it speak to you?

♡ ♡

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